Business Meetings
If there's one thing that I've come to learn, when it comes to business meetings, it's that there are always certain "parts" (if you will), played by certain folks, and this holds true for nearly every Business Meeting I've ever attended. The Next time you're in a business meeting, look for these roles, and quietly sit back, and laugh, once you've placed them. Which category do you fall in?
In every meeting, there will always be "The Cougher"- This person will disrupt the entire session by coughing uncontrollably for approximately 1-2 full minutes, and then act completely shy and embarrassed by this 120 seconds of nonsense, and profusely apologize. Yet, in the next meeting, the same will take place AGAIN. Just watch. You'll see. Did this person catch not the 24 hour bug, but the 2 minute bug? Swallow wrong? Choke? Or?? HA!
Then, there's "The Talker" - No matter the topic at hand, or to what degree it's being discussed, there will always be the ONE PERSON who just cannot help themselves. They will need to have the floor. To talk. You'll notice that the conversation goes down a winding road to nowhere. The chatter continues, and content continues to decrease, only making this "meeting" more and more meaningless, and less and less engaging.
Ever met someone who always aims to please? Well, that leads us to "The Helper". The helper is always the martyr. He/She wants to go over & above to help. To assist. To make each detail of this meeting his/her own personal project. This person cannot overcome the need to please. He or She will trip all over themselves while trying to serve the team, or a certain person in that team. It's embarrassing, really, but throughout each meeting this person will kill themselves aiming to do the most for the cause.
Do not let silence fool you! You, across the table, with the glasses and raised eye brow, you're "The Note Taker". Each time someone speaks, there's smoke coming off the end of your pen, from rapidly writing every detail. You are on the edge of your seat just hoping that someone will soon speak, so you can again, skin that smoke wagon and go to work! Somebody call the 911, there's a fire in here! ha! Slow the led on the end of your pencil down, buddy, we ALL know this meeting is more about the idea to just have a meeting than it is any actual content.
Finally, there's the one who is way too cool for school! This person is cocked way back in his/her chair. Feet propped up (if possible), shades on, blingy jewelry, and each second is valuable to "The Cool Cat", and we should all be clear that this meeting has gone into overtime, and is killing his/her social life. No one should have ever bugged The Cool Cat with this petty nonsense in the first place! Pssh! "I'm to sexy for this meeting" is dancing in his/her head as they force themselves to endure yet another millisecond of this misery everyone is referring to as a meeting.
This pretty much sums up ANY business meeting EVER held. Enjoy, and laugh your buns off the next time you find yourself sitting at a long table, in mixed company, fitting each member into their own role in the "Business Meeting".
